


Can't Let You Go

by NatMadness



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Happy Ending, M/M, Songfic, The best kind of Mikey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 10:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1741967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatMadness/pseuds/NatMadness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank and Gerard have been together for 2 years, but the past 3 months were going downhill for both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Let You Go

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO! every time I listen to So Soon by MarianasTrench I cry like a baby, why? I don't know. 
> 
> When the time comes, you can listen to it right here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTwEezVPKeo ♥

Its 3:45am when he finally hears the door open and close again, followed my slow steps. He is frustrated now, done with everything. It’s the last time he’s dealing with this. He takes a deep breath, stands up from the couch and turns the lights on, and there Gerard is, sweating and looking like a fucking zombie, putting his hands over his eyes to protect them from the sudden burning light.

“Baby, hi. You stayed up late waiting? You shouldn’t have done that, sorry for being out again the guys wanted to--“ Gerard slurs are cut up by Frank.

“No” Frank is so mad right now, he starts talking and changing the tone from stressed and tired, to mad and madder, “Just, what happened to you? You used to be so caring and now look at you, drunk off your ass and wanting me to forgive you, _again_ for it. No, Gerard. I can’t take this anymore, I _won’t_ take it anymore.”

“What are you fucking saying? You know you love me, Frankie c’mon I just needed a beer or two” Gerard slurred.

“ _A beer or two, Gerard?_ ” Frank hissed. “Looks like you had more than that. And besides you can easily come home and have a beer, with _me_. Not go to a bar with your stupid ‘friends’ and get drunk. I don’t want to be your price, your cuddle-buddy. I want to be your boyfriend, like you asked me to be” He wasn’t screaming anymore, but who he was kidding, trying to reason with a drunk.

“Frankie, I’m sorry, baby. Let’s talk about this in the morning, yeah? I’m too tired right now” Gerard said, trying to stumble into their room just to be stopped by Frank’s hand in his chest, pushing him to the front door. “What”

“I told you _no,_ Gerard. I am not forgiving you, I am not sleeping beside you, and I am not dealing with this anymore. I love you, but I can’t”

“Whayasaying?”

“I’m done, Gerard. We’re done. Now go. Get out, I don’t want to see you” Frank said without looking at him, lightly pushing him backwards.

“But Frankie, baby”

“Do _not_ call me that”

He stepped aside and opened the door for Gerard to come out.

“Where am I gonna go?”

“I don’t care, just go”

Gerard looked at him, his eyes watering. He wasn’t as drunk anymore but he still stumbled a little. When Frank closed the door behind him Gerard just started walking and found himself an hour later in front of Bert’s door. He knocked and Bert opened. He told him everything that had happened and Bert offered him his couch to sleep and shoulder to cry on.

Frank on the other hand stayed awake, crying by himself and wondering what now. When the clock said 6:00am he called his mother.

“It’s probably for the best, sweetie. It’s not the right time for you to be together, let him work things out and maybe he’ll understand and come back to you” His mother had said.

“But what happens with Mikey, what if he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore? What if I fucked up our friendship?”

“Honey, you didn’t. Go ahead and text him or even better call him, tell him what happened, he will understand.”

“Thank you, mommy. I love you” Frank said, it was maybe childish that he called his mother ‘mommy’ still, but he didn’t give a fuck.

He did text Mikey, telling him everything that had happened, telling him he couldn’t deal with it. At 8:00am he received a call from him, he thought Mikey was going to insult him, to call him names and never talk to him again, but he seemed surprised and astonished by the news. But still mad at Frank for one thing.

“What do you mean you told him to go? He didn’t come here, Frank, what if he’s lost? Oh my god”

“I’m sorry Mikes I thought he would go there, I just didn’t want to see his face.” Frank said, getting a little worried too.

“It’s okay, Frank I’m not mad at you, just let me find him and then I’ll text you, okay?” Mikey said calmly.

“Okay.”

After that Frank just kind of moped all day, staring at the ceiling and closing his eyes, finally falling asleep.

**

Gerard was woken up by hi phone ringing, he hoped that maybe all of that was a dream, but when he saw where he was sleeping and who was calling him, he knew it wasn’t.

“What?” He answered.

“Fucking _what,_ Gerard? What the fuck happened to you, let me tell you that you just lost the only person in the world that is actually worth it for you, that’s _what_ ” Mikey scolded him. “Now come here right the fuck _now_ ”

Oh, great. “I’m coming”

-

When Frank woke up it was 4:00 pm, he checked his phone and he had texts from Mikey telling him Gerard was ok and he was really sorry for Gerard doing that and that he was going to try and talk to Gerard to see if he could get him to AA. Frank didn’t answer.

He got up and wondered around the house, suddenly there were some phrases in his head and he grabbed a piece of paper and a pen just to see what he could do with this mess. He stayed up until 2:00 am trying to figure out some verses just to pass out on his couch.

The next night he decided he was going to go to a club, he wanted to clear his mind and just get out of that house.

He entered the place and sat down, ordering just a beer and watching the people surrounding him, the barista gave him his beer and he started sipping it, not paying attention to anything. He finished his beer and looked up to the dance floor, there were a lot of people there, suddenly he catched a glimpse of two guys dancing or should we say groping, he kept watching them until one of the colorful lights hit one of the guys’ face, it was _Gerard_ , he was groping the other guy who, for his dirty long hair and movements, Frank concluded was Bert, they were going at it like they weren’t ashamed of it, then Bert leaned and kissed him and Gerard kissed _back_. Frank couldn’t believe what he was seeing, he stood up and walked to them, touched Gerard’s shoulder and when Gerard turned around Frank _knew_ he was drunk. He smiled a sad smile and turned to get out of there as soon as possible. He heard Gerard calling for him but he didn’t turn.

When he arrived home he let the tears run freely. Was that the first time they had kissed? Was Gerard cheating on him the whole time?

He decided we was just going to text Gerard the verses he had written, and forget about it.

*

Gerard tried to follow Frank out of the club but Bert had a strong grip on his hand. He wasn’t drunk, he just hadn’t slept at all those past few days. He was suddenly furious with Bert and with himself, how could he let Bert Kiss him when the only one he loved was Frank? He needed to get him back, and he was going to do it if it was the last thing he did.

“I don’t think we should be Friends anymore” He said when they stepped out of the club.

“What? Because I kissed you? Because Frank saw? You’re not a couple anymore, fuck that”

Gerard remembered all the things Mikey said about their friendship “No. We shouldn’t be Friends anymore because you make me a bad person, you make me drink. I just want to get better, I don’t want to get worse and you make me worse, Bert. You should get better too, I hope you do someday”

“Gerard, wait” Bert grabbed his wrist and Gerard turned to see him. “He’s not worth anything if he doesn’t like you like this, this is what you are and you are never going to be anything ‘better’. Your singing career is over and you know it. Stay with me, we’ll be happy.”

Gerard was angry by the time Bert stopped talking, “No, Bert, you’re wrong. He is worth everything, he is worth it because he wants me to get better, not you. You’re the one who’s never going to make it, I will, and I will do it with him. Now let go of me and go away. I hope you realize you’re fucking up your life.”

He stepped out and called a cab, then went to Mikey’s house and told him he was going to get better and he was going to get Frank back whatever it costed. Mikey grinned and hugged him until their arms were cramping, then they started to look for AA meetings near them.

When Gerard saw his pone had two texts from Frank he freaked out a little. “Mikey what do I do?” he asked his brother.

“Read them, you asshole”

“What if there’s something insulting?”

“Ok, let me read them and if they’re insulting I’ll let you know”

Gerard handed him his phone and said “okay”

Mikey’s eyes widened when he read the texts and he opened his mouth a little from the shock. “Wow” he said, staring at the screen.

Gerard made a face “Is it that bad? If they are just delete them, please”

“No, Gee. You have to read this” Mikey passed him the phone with a little of hurting in his eyes.

Gerard read the texts and a tear fell down his cheek.

“What did you do, Gee?” Mikey had a worried expression.

“Bert. He kissed me and Frank saw” Gerard said, Mikey frowned. “I told him we couldn’t be Friends anymore, Mikes. I told him I wanted to get better and he said I couldn’t, so I just left. He’s not my friend anymore, he’s nothing. Frank is everything. I need to get him back” He put his face on his hands, resting his elbows on his thighs.

Mikey rubbed his back and thought for a moment, then something came to him. “I have an idea, call Dewees”

**

For two weeks Frank has been on a routine, going to work from nine to five, eating and watching shitty T.V then sleeping. He hasn’t cried at all. No, he hasn’t. The sniffling and light sobbing coming from his room at night when he couldn’t feel Gerard by his side was the sound of the sheets moving.

One evening Mikey called him. “I need you to get out of your fucking house and come with me I’ll be there by seven and if you aren’t ready I’ll dress you up myself” he said and then hung up.

When Frank looked at the clock he realized it was 6:00 so he needed to move fast, he showered and tried to clean his face so he didn’t look like he’d been crying every night for the last two weeks (and some) straight. Put some clothes on and sat on the couch again. It wasn’t like he was trying to impress anybody, anyway.

When Mikey knocked at his door and Frank opened he said “Nope” And pushed past Frank, grabbing his hand and leading him to the bathroom, where he fixed his hair and treated him like a kid. He told him to change his shirt and put a jacket on, and then he was ready. They got into Mikey’s car and Frank just stared out the window. Mikey patted him on the shoulder and said “You’ll be okay” with a little smile on his face.

They arrived at a little coffee place that said “OPEN MIC NIGHT” in neon lights and Frank turned to look at Mikey with confusion and a question in his eyes.

“You’ll see” Mikey said and got out.

They entered and took a seat, ordered their drinks and started talking. Mikey asked him how he was doing and told him Gerard was getting better every day. He also told him about a girl he had met at work, Angelina. Frank said he was so very happy he had met someone and that he wanted to meet her. He was going to ask where Gerard was when a girl started to talk on a microphone. They both turned to pay attention.

“Hello everybody, tonight we have an open mic and this time is a special one, this first act is a dedication to someone right here in the café. Now I don’t know about you, but I wish it was dedicated to me!” The girl said and some people chuckled. “Now give it up for Gerard and James”

When Frank looked at Mikey he was full on grinning. “What?”

Mikey turned his face a little and said “Shut up and listen”

James sat in front of his keyboard and mic while Gerard stood in the center of the little stage, he raised his head and looked at the audience, then took a deep breath.

“Hey, I’m Gerard and this is my friend James, this is a song we wrote, mostly and, yeah. This is for you”

 

**(A/N: IT'S TIME click[here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTwEezVPKeo))**

_You say, sometimes, it's like I hardly know you_

_And maybe there's somethings I never showed you_

_Sometimes you're certain, but just can't get it working at all_

He was looking directly at Frank now, and Frank couldn’t look away. The melody, Gerard’s voice.

_You say to yourself somebody better_

_Will understand you more than I ever_

_I'll shake his hand, and smile, and say I understand. Well I do_

_That don't mean I don't think about you_

Gerard closed his eyes tightly before singing the chorus, James joining in.

 

_I know we_

_Said it's just as well that I won't keep, keep you for myself_

_But, I don't want to see you happier with somebody else_

_Oh, why can't you just be lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?_

_Why can't you just be lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?_

_Why can't you just be lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?_

_I know you need someone too_

_This just feels so soon_

_I know some things should just stay broken_

_I'm well aware this should remain unspoken_

_But I've been working on the things that I was learning all wrong, oh_

_I know sometimes I only twist you_

_And maybe I'm too proud to say I missed you_

_But what if here and now, I tell you that I'm all figured out?_

_Or maybe I just like how that sounds_

While Gerard had his eyes shut, he couldn’t see the tears forming in Frank’s eyes, he couldn’t see the pained expression he had or how he didn’t care if someone looked at him, he let the tears run, and Mikey grabbed his arm and smiled at him.

_I know we_

_Said it's just as well that I won't keep, keep you for myself_

_But I don't want to see you happier with somebody else_

_Oh, why can't you just be lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?_

_Why can't you just be lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?_

_Why can't you just be lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?_

_I know you need someone too_

_This just feels so_

_And I know it seems beneath me_

_But sometimes it's not so easy_

_To wish you well and let you go_

“I-it’s that?” Frank whispered.

“Your text” Mikey answered

_And I say it's just as well_

_That I just can't keep you for myself_

_I don't want to see you happier with somebody else_

_Oh, lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?_

_Why can't you just be lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?_

_Why can't you just be lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?_

_This just feels so_

_This just feels so,_

_Feels so soon_

_(Lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?)_

_Why can't you be_

_(Lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?)_

_Why can't you be_

_(Lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?)_

_This just feels so,_

_This just feels so,_

_This just feels so soon_

Gerard had his eyes watering by the time he stopped singing, he looked over at James who gave him a warm smile, and said “Thank you”. He didn’t expect to see, however, everyone standing up and clapping, he looked over at where Frank was sitting but Mikey was alone. He furrowed his eyebrows and started to look for Frank.

“Gee”

He looked down, Frank was in front of him, just a little to the side.

“That was beautiful, Gerard, James.” He said, nodding at James. “Uhm, Gee. Can we talk for a second?”

Gerard looked at James who was packing his keyboard and heading to Mikey’s table. “Yeah, of course, whatever you want” He answered.

They sat at a table a little far from everyone. Gerard was the first to speak this time.

“So, you liked the song?”

Frank blushed, “yeah… you put my text in it” he whispered the last part.

“Of course I did, it’s about you” Gerard took his hand, “It’s what inspired me to do this”

Frank looked up. “I never thought you could have this ideas”

Gerard smirked lightly “It was Mikey’s idea, actually. But I wrote the song. Congratulate Dewees for the music though, and some lyrics too”

“Yeah…” Frank smiled, but it was still sad.

Gerard grabbed both Frank’s hands in his and made him look at him in the eyes. “Frank, I’ve been sober all this time, I’ve been trying to get better for myself and for you. I am looking for a new job and I know I can’t promise to be perfect and I can’t promise I won’t slip up because maybe I will. But maybe I won’t. I want to be what you want, I want to be what you need, because you are what I need. I want to go back home with you and stay there forever. Please let me, Frankie. Give me a second chance to be with you, to make you happy”

Frank gulped hard, he was battling with himself, a part of him wanted to punch Gerard and tell him to fuck off, but a bigger part wanted to lunch himself at him and kiss him hard and long. He acted calm and collected though, pressing their palms together harder and smiling.

“Yeah, you can come back, Gee. But please let me help you when you need it, and let me be there for you, ok?”

Gerard put his hand over Frank’s cheek and leaned in, brushing their lips together, and Frank hauled him the rest of the way up and kissed him.

“I love you, I am never letting you go, I promise” Gerard whispered between kisses. Frank just smiled and kept kissing him, then getting up and offering him a place to stay, forever this time.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!


End file.
